I have heard it said over and over again throughout my years as a mother that I have to have “me time” in order to survive and stay sane. Society tells us we must put ourselves first or we won’t be able to meet the needs of anyone else. You must take time for you and you alone. I agree with this idea, but not in the way the outside world dictates.
My life revolves around my husband, my children and our home. As a stay at home mom and a homeschooling mom my days are filled with cooking and cleaning, paying the bills, teaching my children, creating lesson plans, running kids to various events and making time for my husband when he comes home. There are days that go by where I haven’t had an adult conversation at all until my husband walks in the door. By society’s standards I should be crazy by now! Society would say I’m stuck in the house, not able to do what I want to do, when I want to do it… absolutely unbearable! The funny thing is even while I am knee-deep in kids and laundry and bills I find “me time” all throughout the day.
First, let me share my definition of “me time”. I define “me time” as the time I take during the day to re-center myself and find what makes me happy. When we are happy we are able to focus on the needs of others and the responsibilities that we have without getting completely overwhelmed.
Second, “me time” doesn’t have to be away from my family, my house or while I am alone. Sometimes it is but often times “me time” comes when I am surrounded by laughter, noise, or even chaos. Remember, by my definition, anything that re-centers you enabling you to go on is “me time”.
So, you might ask how I find time for myself when I am constantly surrounded by 8 children, 2 cats, 1 husband and a home that relies on my daily work to keep it running smoothly. There are many things I do but these are some of my favorites:
- I pray throughout the day. Sounds simple right? Sometimes it’s hard to find the time to pray alone so mostly I have just enough time for little prayers. “Lord, thank you for the day”. “Lord, please grant me the patience I need to teach today”. “Lord, please let the girls understand that name calling isn’t nice”. As St. Teresa of Avila said, “The Lord walks among the pots and pans.” We can pray no matter what we are doing, even while doing housework! I take advantage of this as much as possible. I love this time in “quiet prayer.”
- We eat our meals together. We laugh and joke at the table. We talk about what has been going on in our lives, what we need and what we would like to do. We all just reconnect with each other. It’s calming and nice to share with my family in this way. We are lucky that we can eat all our meals together but even just having one together is wonderful.
- I read a story to my little ones. Often times even the older kids will sit and listen too. How wonderful is it to have a little one snuggled in your lap eager to hear the story, eyes wide in anticipation? Their excitement makes me smile every time. I get joy from their joy.
- We have a set bedtime for all the kids. This allows us to have quiet in the evening. The television is set to “big people shows”, chores get done, and I have time to be on the computer, the phone or my nose in a book.
- I spend time with my husband when he’s home. We often watch t.v. sometimes snuggled up, other times on opposite couches, but near each other none-the-less. We joke and wrestle and tease. We talk about things that important and sometimes things that aren’t. We just enjoy each other.
By society’s standards most of the things I do to find time for me wouldn’t qualify as “me time” but each activity re-centers me so that I can continue to take care of those who need me most. They allow me to be happy with all that I have. They are the breath of fresh air that keeps me going each day. I have found what works for me. Everyone is different but, for many of us, rejuvenating doesn’t have to take place apart from the people and place most important to us.
Redefine your definition of “me time”. You may just find by doing so you become happier than you ever thought you could be.
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When Michelle isn’t busy planning out 6 grade levels she can be found writing about her family at Pass the Flu Bug Please.
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“Everyone is different but, for many of us, rejuvenating doesn’t have to take place apart from the people and place most important to us.”
This is something I have been thinking about. Your post put everything into perspective. Thank you.
Really enjoyed your post,so nice for someone at last to credit stay at home mums for the rewarding fulfilling role that it is.
So often have I considered the whole idea of ‘me time’ and you have managed to sum it up perfectly.
Great post! I really appreciate that food for thought. So often we think we have to “get away from it all,” when really enjoyment can be found right where we are.
Each day, my kids watch TV while they eat lunch…and I head to my computer. If the weather is nice, I’ll even take my laptop out to the deck. That’s my little chunk of “me time” each day. I’m home if my kids need me and we have two other meals together each day, but that hour or so of quiet time to read my email and blogs, or to do some blogging of my own, really rejuvenates me.
Coloring or playing Rock Band with the kids is pretty nice, too. ;-)
Me time:
Praying while the porriage is cooking in the morning-about 12 mins of morning devotions even if it is in the middle of the kitchen-dining room
Sitting and nursing the baby- time to read or love the littlest without guilt.
Time online while rocking baby with one foot (or nursing babe).
And of course couch time (what my dd’s call read-alouds during our schooling hours)
I like a good break in the day! I go to Minnesota Virtual High School and I often take breaks during the day and make up my time at night or very early in the morning. Got to love the flexibility of staying at home and being disciplined.