Where in the world does the homeschool mama find time to have passions? There are not enough hours in the day already and now you expect me to be passionate about something other than my kids and laundry? Well, if truth be told, I am really not that passionate about laundry at all, but I have found some other passions.
I have been feeling insecure and scared about sharing my new found passions for fear that someone tears them apart. However, because I have been deeply inspired by creative bloggers sharing on their blogs, on Etsy, and elsewhere, I decided that it is time to share and I want to inspire you.
Over the past few years, I have been squeezing in more and more time for exploring my God given gifts and talents. This includes late night painting sessions and crocheting while the children do their lessons beside me. This has been a very positive and inspiring process, not to mention a great deal of hard work at times.
The year 2010 was one of discovery. It came complete with new skills, new talents, new passions, over coming fears, and finding freedom by letting my creative side out just a little bit more.
I can now confidently crochet without a pattern. I ventured out and explored watercolor on canvas. I over came my fear of acrylic paints and discovered that I love them. The biggest challenge was making time to learn, experiment, explore life, but this has led to me being more fulfilled and created a desire to explore life more fully. My life is richer because I was willing to take a chance and try something new and not be afraid of the results.
It is of the utmost importance to me that I make time to explore my passions and to create. I am learning to allow myself to not always be perfect. I am allowing myself to make mistakes, unravel the wool, change the painting, start over. This is something very new and very big for me. I have always been afraid to try new things for fear of making a mistake and not having the time to do things over again. It is okay to make mistakes because you grow and who knows, your project just might be better the second (or third) time you do it.
My children are watching now and every morning they look for a new painting on the entertainment center or a new project on the go. They are asking, begging to explore and create as well.
I have five children, including one with autism and two and a half year old twins. The twins are still nursing a great deal and I have only had three full nights sleep in the last two and a half years, but that hasn’t stopped me from finding a way to be creative. I see paintings in my dreams that are longing to be completed.
I started painting about six years ago during a difficult time in my marriage (which is a whole other story). I painted by the light of the television while three children, under the age of five, slept scattered around my bedroom. I was able to freely express myself in my paintings when I couldn’t find the words. There were some nights that I just had to paint. I painted almost nightly after the boys went to bed. It was extremely healing for me. (I am happy to report that my husband and I will be celebrating our 12th wedding anniversary this year and God is very good).
Since that time, I have explored watercolor paints on paper, watercolor from a tube, watercolor pencil crayons. I have a closet full of paintings that are longing to be displayed (I am working on that, by the way).
I put down my brushes at the end of my pregnancy with the twins only because it was too awkward to paint and it took me until this fall to pick them back up again.
I painted a few practice paintings on watercolor paper (just to make sure that I still had it in me) and then I took a step and tried watercolor on canvas. It was a very different experience for me. The first painting was hard and took nearly 20 hours to finish. The second painting was easier, clocking in at around 12 hours.
For Christmas, my sister blessed me with acrylic paints and canvases. I got up the courage to try my first acrylic on canvas. It was interesting, fun, and very inspiring. Now I have finished 10 acrylic paintings to varying degrees and I am excited about new projects that are rolling around in my head.
What are you passionate about? What inspires you? Can you make time for it? What are your excuses? What is stopping you from being creative?
Confront your excuses. Face the fear. Make the time. Make the space. Find a way to do it without any money. Carve out some time for you passions.
Dream, Explore, Create.
Honey can be found writing at Sunflower Schoolhouse.